MoolahMonkey

I remember I used to be terrible at these! And the worst part was when you asked all your friends, some who actually work in HR , and they have no fucking idea either on how to write one. So you turn to Google and you get these crappy ass examples that you base writing yours on:

crappy examples

Here’s a cover letter I wrote more than 3 years ago. I’m appalled by my own shitty writing. I’m not surprised that I didn’t get a response back.

After doing much research on ShareThis and its business model, I’ve found myself very intrigued with ShareThis, and in ad technology. Since I work with large amounts of data, I really enjoyed reading about the analytics tools ShareThis provides that help publishers see what’s trending and interpret what the next big thing is. Earlier, I read an article on AdExchanger of an interview with CEO Kurt Abrahamson. I think it’s great that as competition grows from companies like Facebook and Twitter, ShareThis still has the advantage of sharing across all social platforms. After much research, I would enjoy a career helping ShareThis build a significant business model that has scale and “making sharing simple and valuable.”

I currently work as an Import/Export Administrator for a large semiconductor company where I have valuable skills in building and interpreting reports. If given the opportunity to be a part of the ShareThis team, I’ll bring to the table determination to be a positive return on investment. I’m eager to learn and always keep an open mind. When I first came to my current company 2 years ago, the only thing I knew about import/export compliance and logistics were from a textbook I read in college. My manager was willing to invest in me, and I was determined to prove that I would be a positive ROI. I’m now in a position where my team comes to me for help with reports, key data, and projects and I deliver. 

Let’s go over everything wrong with this. First off, my very first line shows I’m a straight up ass kisser! No one likes ass kissers!! I then start talking about things they already know and finish off the 1st paragraph with another ass kissing statement.

I ramble on about how I have “valuable skills” and “determination.” Truth is anyone can use these words and I sound so boring. I’m appalled by my very own writing.

It wasn’t until a year and half later I was trying to leave my company so I started mass applying. I felt I had nothing to lose so I started experimenting with how I approached writing my cover letters. I realized I spent too much time thinking about what to write instead of writing, so when I applied for jobs on Indeed and the pop up came to include a cover letter, I gave myself a limit of 5 minutes to write one.

It turned out that some of my best writing came from less than 5 minutes of writing. I started getting more responses back for phone interviews using this method, and I came up with a template that works.

Below is my cover letter. This thing has done great things for me in getting my foot in the door.


Hello,

For the past 4+ years, my career has been focused on data analytics and what I enjoy most is turning large amounts of raw data into an easy to understand story that empowers my shareholders to make good decisions. I’m well versed in tools such as Tableau, Excel, Access, and creating dashboards that let’s everyone know what the numbers and targets are, so everyone is on the same page in terms of reaching our goals. I’d love to chat with you about this opportunity and how my experiences will enhance your current methods and help you achieve your overall goals.

Thank you,

PhilFChedda


 

You’re probably thinking that’s it??? Yes. That is it.

Here’s the secret: Hook (capture my attention), What you enjoy about what you do, What do you have to offer, Conclusion

This cover letter makes me sound interesting AF, knowledgeable in my shittt, what I have to offer you, and if you think I sound good, take a look at my resume and if you like it, then holla at me so we can further discuss this potential relationship.

There is no absolutely no ass kissing and no apologetic tone. I sound confident and I’m concise. Why is being concise important?

Imagine the recruiter glancing over your cover letter, also has another 100 applicants applying for the same position. Not only do they have this job to fill, they have 12 other jobs to fill and have to scan through those applications as well. They also have meetings to attend, phone interviews to conduct, paperwork to do, lunch to grab, etc. That’s a lot of work, so I approach writing a cover letter like the person glancing over it has 30 seconds to read it.

We live in the Snapchat/FB/IG/Twitter age, and grabbing someone’s attention quickly is super important. You ever read your friend’s long ass posts? I don’t cause fuck that..

If you’re having trouble getting hits from your applications, try my method!

This shit works bruh.

 

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s